Home on the Mantle

There is no magic in transforming a house into a home. Sure, it does come easier for some than others, but just like any worthy goal, it is achievable by collaborating with those who understand the components. Creating a home is about much more than beauty. Almost everyone I have met in my lifetime wants the style, function, and comfort level of their home to be pleasing to all who enter. They want their family and friends to feel at home when they visit. However, creating that feeling of home requires careful attention to more than the things that are seen.

My husband, Chris and I were married in 2006, and I left my home to move into his home in a different city. We embarked on blending two different families and homes. I had experienced a 20+ year marriage that ended in divorce. I had two sons, 10 and 15 years of age. After being forced to sell our home, I had to find an affordable house to share with my sons and attempt to quickly create a sense of home for them.

Chris had experienced a 20+ year marriage that ended in the loss of his wife to cancer. He had two sons who were 14 and 16 years of age, and they all had to come home each day to the home his wife and their mother had created and work together to deal with their grief. Chris and his sons decided after a couple of years that they needed to make a change. He was offered a new job in the Atlanta, Georgia area and moved with his sons. He obviously wanted to create the feeling of home in their new house but did not know where to start. He bought magazines to get ideas and found a picture of a mantle with specific items placed on it. He decided to go shopping to attempt to duplicate the “look.” 

Several years passed, and we met and began dating. After 14 months of getting to know each other and the families we represented, we decided to marry. Reading books about blending families seemed like a great idea, but it also proved quite scary. Each family unit is unique, and expectations were bound to create a difficult challenge for us all. The greatest thing we had a common was our faith.  We also had similar goals in life and were quite compatible (thanks to e-harmony)! However, moving into the same house with sons who were trying to navigate the world having step-parents and step-brothers and it was not going to be easy. We both prayed for God’s wisdom and understanding.

Among the challenges, we had to find a way to blend our stuff. We both agreed to hold onto the furnishings that held some sentimental value for us and chose items that would remind our sons of home. We bought some new furnishings to pull it all together. But changing the colors on the walls and carefully blending new and old furnishings was not going to be enough. We needed our home to express our uniqueness and commonality. We set out to create uniqueness in our individual spaces while keeping a harmonious feel in the home. Our common areas needed to reflect our family personality which we were still discovering, so that came together with time. One day I was in our kitchen/keeping room area a noticed the mantle looked a bit bland with items that were rather generic. I had a moment of inspiration that I am convinced came directly from our Heavenly Father. There were pictures scattered throughout the house of our two separate families, but we needed to have a visual display of our individual histories and our union. I collected photos of our two different families from throughout the house and brought them into the kitchen. The rest was easy. I made a run to a store close by to pick up the needed frames. While the pictures told different stories, the frames would be the same to remind us of the things we had in common. I began with the left side and placed pictures of Chris’ family throughout the years (including his late wife, and all of the grandparents). I then proceeded to fill the right side of the mantle with pictures of my family throughout the years. The middle was a picture of us all at our wedding reception. This simple visual in a place we all gathered several times each day, gave us all reminders of our past, present and somehow, helped create hope for our future together. It didn’t seem like a big deal when I put it together, but it became a reminder that while blending a family does require hard work, the outcome could be something beautiful.

Several years later, Chris had a conversation with a friend who had also lost his wife and had decided to remarry and blend their families. The older children, along with many of their friends were concerned that it was not a good decision and asked him to call and talk with Chris since he had “been there.” This friend shared with Chris that they were to be married in a few days, but his future bride has insisted that he remove all the pictures of his late wife from the house. In spite of the fact that there were teenagers at home who wanted to have reminders of their happy memories with their mother, his fiancé did not want pictures of her in their home. Chris advised this friend to wait and seek counseling with his future bride. He decided to go ahead with the wedding and unfortunately, the couple separated in less than 6 months. 

I share that story to illustrate the importance of making sure your home reflects the personality of your family. Chris and I became empty nesters a few years ago and bought a place on the lake in NE Georgia. We moved here full time in 2017, and opened a home store (Angel Oak Home) in historic downtown Toccoa in March, 2018. Our goal is to work with builders and clients to transform their houses into truly unique homes. Over the 20+ years I have been involved in the interior design industry, I have met lots of people who are able to make a space beautiful. The key to success is in finding a designer who will take the time to get to know the individuals in each home. Collaborating with homeowners is critical to creating a truly unique space that reflects the wonderful personality of the residents. When we are able to do this, along with maximizing the function and beauty of the home, we experience success. After all, shouldn’t home be the place where you enjoy time with your family and friends, a place that you long to be when you are away, and a place where visitors are able to feel at home the moment they walk through the door.